dare to be desperate

As a young adult contemplating life's journey, I often feel like I am drowning in a sea of confusion and chaos. I don't know what to do with my life, I don't know where I'll be next year, and I am often more lonely than not. Sometimes I get the impression that I'm just not trusting God enough. Obviously a crucial element is lacking, but what? Graduation is looming and I'm becoming more desperate for direction. I comfort myself and answer people's inquiries by saying that I'm looking for God's will, or that He hasn't made His will clear to me yet, but how can I expect to understand the plans of One who I don't fully know?

The story goes that a man told a preacher that he really wanted to be desperately seeking to know God better. Willing to put that ambition to a test, the preacher brought the man to a pool. The preacher then grabbed the guy and held him under the water for long enough to scare him and brought him back up. The man came up for air gasping just long enough to fill his lungs with precious oxygen before the preacher repeated the process. The man came up gasping for air again.

I'm not sure that the story is true, but the point of the story poked holes in my self-will and deflated my prideful ambition. This man was clearly desperate for life-sustaining oxygen. The only thought on his mind was to get more air. I am embarrassed to say that I can't remember the last time I was so desperately seeking God that it was the only thing on my mind--my only purpose. I must take the focus off myself and put it back on God. My aim is to daily study His Word and pray without ceasing so "that I may know Him." I dare to be desperately seeking after the One who graciously continues to give that life-sustaining air, "so that His praise will continually be on my lips."